DNC announces 2020 team

Disassociated Press
Feb 30, 2013


Nobody can accuse the Democrats of not being progressive.
They have still not decided whether Hillary Clinton or Janet 'the butch' Nepolitano will run for the 2016 big ticket.
That decision will be made at the traditional MMA beat down following the pre conference dog fights later this year.
Janet has promised not to strike Hilary with a drone, even though she is an American citizen.

But no worries the 2020 ticket is all settled!
An announcement made earlier this day by Dick Holder (no relation) that the nominees for the 2020 presidential ticket have been selected by the voting machines!

It seems the ticket will be a Piers Morgan and Jim Carrey one!
The leaders of the democratic caucus are thrilled.
Dianne Feinstien was quoted as bubbling: "[..]I mean their perfect! Neither were born here and both of them have the ability to talk total bullshit with a straight face! Speaking of faces: Just look at Jim's face? I mean who could possibly mock a guy like that?"

Eric Holder commented laughingly while visiting some friends at a local gun show in Chiapas, Mexico: "Far out, man. Jim's my man. Don't make me RICO your ass! Hey pass me the mirror, Pablo..."

President Obama chimed in with usual profundity to a cheering crowd about the release: "Uhhhh... well.. ummm. Yes WE CAN!"

When Piers Morgan was asked about the nomination he denied all involvement, blamed it on his employees and fled New York state - spurring hopes for the DNC he will run. After all, he always does.

Mr Carrey was simply quoted as saying 'AALLL RIGHTEY THEN!' before pretending to be a dog and sniffing Henry Kissinger's backside.